9 Ways to Increase Your Self-Discipline (Part 1)
Reinforcing your internal boundaries can be difficult especially if you're trying to replace life long habits. Here are the first 5 tips to help you better adjust!
Being consistent in trying to establish a new habit is always easier said than done in my opinion. I actually have been challenging myself lately to be more disciplined in a number of things, and it has reminded me that building and replacing habits truly take time. But it’s still doable!
I actually just watched a video from Sarah Jakes Roberts who quoted Brene Brown’s podcast that your level of freedom comes from how discipline you are with yourself.
If you want the freedom to use your body well into old age, you need to discipline yourself to stretch and workout now.
If you want the freedom to purchase things and experiences debt free, you need to discipline yourself to not buy every thing you see just because you have the urge of wanting it right now.
If you want the freedom of peace of mind to not be groggy and irritable day to day, then you need the discipline to go to bed on time, drink your water, and eat healthy.
I can go on and on, but it definitely was such an reframe to me. (Here’s her video if you’d like to view it.)
So with that in mind, let me share with you a few things I’ve learned in increasing my own self-discipline that I hope can help you too!
Tip #1: Pair the new habit with one that you’re already doing.
Think about a habit that you are very much so set in and have no problem with sticking to. Let that habit be your anchor for whatever new habit that you’re trying to do. The hope is that as you do the other habit that you are accustomed to, you’ll be able to be consistent with the newer habit as well.
Here’s my example: I was told by my loctitian how important it is that I keep my scalp hydrated while it’s in its loc’d state. So every day, I try to spray the roots of my locs with a leave-in conditioner mixed with water. I seal it in with a light oil. Now this was new for me when I first got my locs. So what I did was set the bottle with leave in conditioner, and the oil that I used right next to my skincare bottles. I made a decision that right after I finish my skincare routine in the morning is when I’d spray and massage my scalp. I’m good for always washing my face every morning so it was easy for me to roll into my haircare routine right afterwards.
Now it’s an easy habit. In fact if I miss it for whatever reason, I can clearly feel the difference and immediately spray my hair. I’ve gotten use to the feel of hydrated hair and don’t want it to feel any other way.
How can you stack your habits so that you can roll into the habit that you want to establish moving forward?
Tip #2: Establish visual cues to remind you of the new habit.
What can you set out that you know you won’t miss to remind yourself to do that task? It can be a literal sign that says, don’t forget to press the record button before that zoom meeting. Or it can be just as my last example where I placed my hair products out right next to my skincare products so that I can visually see them to remember to use them.
You can even step this up a notch and have a written sign that describes the purpose of why you need to do that task or habit. Even a glance at reading it can help nudge you to go on to do whatever it’s reminding you of. This is where those vision boards can come in handy!
The point is for you to have some sort of visual cue, whether it’s words, an image, or any meaningful thing you can observe that will remind you that that habit or task is important for you to complete.
Tip #3: Set timer reminders that won’t be easily ignored.
So here’s a recent bad habit that I use to have. I use to get so addicted to little games on my phone. I usually fell into playing them when I just wanted to disconnect my brain, but I didn’t want to doom scroll on social media. Games aren’t bad to play at all, but what is bad is when that 10 minutes turn into 2 hours of game play. That is what I didn’t want, but I kept falling into every time.
I changed this by setting a timer for myself. Now I tried the app limit setting on Apple, but shamefully I’ll admit that I’ve gotten into such a habit of ignoring it that it doesn’t help me anymore. Instead I now use my watch and set a timer right before I begin playing. My watch will buzz and buzz until I stop and with this timer, I’ve been able to keep myself from playing too long.
I wanted to share this particular example to prove how I didn’t get it right the first time. I thought that the app limit setting would be enough for me only to find out that it wasn’t. But for some reason or another, having a timer that wasn’t directly on the device that I was using helped me to stop what I was doing. So for you, you might have to adjust in ways like that. No one is the same so keep trying different timers that can help you stop an action that you want to limit.
I’ve even had to do this with my alarm to wake up in the morning. Using my phone’s alarm was hit or miss as I could easily turn it off without being fully awake. Instead I now use a standalone alarm that lights up the entire room and plays music 10 minutes before my alarm goes off. It goes from a dim room and subtle little chirps to a fully lit room with it sounding like birds are having a cookout in my bedroom. For an additional touch, I placed it away from my bed so that I have to stand up and walk to it to turn it off.
So if something doesn’t work right the first time, try again with a different approach. Remember that this is about testing and learning what’s right for you.
Tip #4: Designate certain areas to complete certain activities.
You can help yourself focus better by simply designating a certain area in your home or outside your home as your task area. This is an area where you’ve removed all distractions and that you make sure that you only do the action that you’re trying to do in that space. After awhile, your mind and body will get use to the change in environment to signal that it’s time to do whatever that action.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever gotten home and realized you needed to use the bathroom? You’re fine until you see the toilet, and then suddenly you REALLY got to go. Your body has gotten accustomed to where you need to be to do what you need to do!
Use that same principle with whatever other action you’re trying to do. A recent environment change that I’ve made is to pray and read my bible on my balcony every morning. Being out there is quiet and peaceful. I rarely get distracted to do anything else as I’ve now gotten use to that being a space where I spend time with God. Being in nature has grounded me to focus on my prayer and reading. My mind shifts to focus to do that instead of when I would sit on my couch and accidentally fall asleep or get distracted doing something else or thinking of something else.
So set a space and stick to it. It doesn’t have to be a completely different building. It can be as simple as a corner, a closet, or specific space that you’ve designated for your task.
Tip #5: Find a way to put away distractions.
Similar to the tip before, you must find a way to keep yourself from being easily distracted. So if you’re about to focus on studying or working, you may need to put your phone away from your eyesight. It may be that you can’t have your phone facing you so it’s face down. You may set the setting to not allow popups during a certain time, taking advantage of the focus mode. You may have to do your brainstorming on paper without facing your computer on your desk because if you do it on your computer, you end up lost in the depths of your email inbox.
Also pause, about email, you may need to set limits that you’ll only check your email 4 times in the day: when you get in to work, right before lunch, right after lunch, and to wrap up at the end of the day. Turn off the chime that signals a new email and only allow a chime to remind you of those 4 times. Makes those certain times your email time so that you don’t get sucked into every email notification distracting you from your actual work.
If you have the type of work where people need to let you know when something is urgent, set an away message that simply says you’re in deep work between the hours of X and X and if it’s urgent then they should call your work phone or send a Teams message. Communicate whatever structure you set to your team members. It’s ok to set those boundaries so that you can get the most productivity out of your work hours.
Also work from home friends, you might have to have that come to Jesus moment that no, you can’t do that task with the tv on in the background. I don’t care how many times you’ve seen this episode of your comfort show, it may still be a distraction. Some things no matter how use to them you tell yourself you are can be a heavy distraction.
Everyone is distracted by different things. For some people certain things help them zone out while for others it will distract. I had a friend who loved listening to podcasts and YouTube videos while he worked. It helped him to focus on his tasks. But me? That is 100% the correct way to get me all the way off task. I can’t listen to other people talk while I do most of my work. My brain just refuses. Identify what that distraction is for you and adjust accordingly!
There’s my first 5 tips for you! I was going to include everything in this article but my #6 suggestion turned into an essay almost by itself! Stay tuned for the last 4 tips that I have to share to help you increase your self-discipline. And feel free to share any additional tips in the comments that has helped you that focus on your tasks and habits.
